From Corporate Stability To Retail Shelves With A Side Hustle with David Ask

Why Reinvention Starts Quietly

Eric Dickmann 0:01

Welcome to Beyond Expertise, the podcast about what happens when the career identity you've built no longer fully fits, and how you begin creating something that feels more aligned with who you are. I'm your host, Eric Dickmann. My guest today is David Usk, an entrepreneur, singer, author, and founder of The Usk Experience. What stayed with me from our conversation is that reinvention does not always begin with a dramatic exit. Sometimes it starts quietly while you are still inside the life you've already built. David spent years working at Verizon while continuing to pursue his music and slowly developing a physical product on the side. He had no background in manufacturing, supply chains, retail distribution, or running a product company. The first attempt went nowhere. His original partner moved on, and even after Home Depot initially showed interest, the opportunity stalled for another two years. But David kept going. Eventually, the product reached more than a thousand Home Depot stores, later expanded into Lowe's and other retailers, and gave him enough momentum to leave corporate life when a voluntary severance opportunity appeared. I think there's an important lesson in the way that happened. David did not wait until he had perfect clarity before taking action, but he also did not abandon his income and hope inspiration would somehow turn into a business. He experimented while he still had stability. He learned the unfamiliar parts slowly. He relied on relationships to open doors he could not have opened alone. And when opportunity finally appeared, he had already done enough groundwork to say yes and figure out the rest. At the same time, this is not simply a story about launching a thermostat guard or getting a product into a major retailer. What became more interesting to me is how many different identities David has continued to carry: musician, corporate professional, product entrepreneur, father, marketer, author, and a person of faith. His next chapter is not about choosing one and discarding the others. It's about understanding what connects them. For David, that connection is a desire to help people recognize what is already within them, to remove some of the uncertainty around identity, purpose, and the contribution they are capable of making. In our conversation, we talk about the patience required to build something before it can support you, the role relationships play in creating opportunity, and why becoming more authentic may not require inventing a completely new self. Sometimes it means paying closer attention to the threads that have been present all along. Let's get ready to go beyond expertise. David, welcome to the podcast. I'm so glad to have you on the show today

David Ask 2:58

Hey, I'm really glad to be here. Thanks for having me

Eric Dickmann 3:01

Absolutely.

First Job And Early Ambition

Eric Dickmann 3:02

David, one of the things that I do at the start of every episode is I like to turn back the dial of time a bit and ask people their first corporate experience, their first real job out of school, what that was for you, and how it matched what you thought your professional life was gonna look like at the time

David Ask 3:21

Oh man, what a great question. Interestingly enough, I moved to Nashville, Tennessee from Glenwood, Minnesota, a little town with a, you know, one stoplight. And, um, and right after high school I, I actually went to a community college in, in Minnesota and just wasn't for me and ended up attending Belmont University here. And, um, anyway, so besides working at Dillard's, you know, the clothing store in, in Nashville and so on right out of the gate and so on, I ended up getting a job at Vanderbilt University. And actually let me... It was actually, it was called the Bill Wilkerson Center. Um, it's a speech and hearing center and they ended up being purchased by Vanderbilt when I was working there. And, um, yeah, so that was a, a, I mean, so many great, great memories there. I was there for, uh, probably three years

Eric Dickmann 4:11

What did you think you wanted to do? What was your motivation? What was your aspiration when you were, a younger version of you?

David Ask 4:18

Well, at that point I just needed money. It was, it was survival mode. But I, you know, I, I ended up moving to Nashville, uh, to do music, so I was a, a vocal major and, you know, it's, it's funny, I, I live in a few different worlds, so a lot of people don't know that, you know, I've got this music s- thread that's been through my, really my whole life. My mom was a music teacher and, you know, I started singing at a pretty high level when I was in, I don't know, ninth grade. You know, like national anthem at, at major sporting events and, you know, things like that, and moved to Nashville. I've recorded three records and I've-- I mean, just a m- a month or so ago, I opened up the, the, uh, Tennessee House of Representatives session with a, a song and a prayer, and I've done concerts at the, the Symphony Center and, I mean, in, you know, several different countries for that matter. So I, it's a, it's kind of a neat thing. So to your, to answer your question, I wanted to be a singer, right? I, I wanted to be, I wanted to be, you know, famous and, and all that kind of stuff. And I'm, uh, I'm grateful that I, you know, even still I'm, um, in fact, I'm, I'm looking at a non-disclosure agreement. I had to-- I've done four concerts at a really, uh, I'll just put it this way, a famous golf course, uh, that I can't really, can't mention. And I, and I, you know, have had moments in my life sharing the stage with people that I've just had to completely pinch myself. And at the same time, you know, I've, there, there has, uh, really simultaneously been kind of an entrepreneurial thread, you know, right alongside that. And because growing up, I just admired, you know, I mean, business owners. I, I'll be honest, I thought an entrepreneur was a business owner. And, you know, you can create a job for yourself and that's great. I mean, that's, it's wonderful. And at the same time, I was always so drawn to people who kinda had multiple revenue streams and they had a bit of, you know, margin in their time and, you know, s- maybe some passive income. And I'm like, "What in the heck kinda person does that?" You know, "Who gave them permission to do that?" And so, yeah, it was, it was amazing how some of those things started, you know, budding really, really early.

Eric Dickmann 6:20

Well, it's interesting because when you think about a career of singing, right, I think a lot of people associate a successful entertainment career with lucky breaks, right? Right place, right time, knowing the right people. But an entrepreneur is often very much the opposite. It's grit, it's perseverance, it's a lot of failure. Try, try again, modify, keep testing different ideas until you see what works. So as, you know, you're progressing in this career, and I know you ultimately get to the spot where you really tap into that entrepreneurial, desire that you had, what

Music As Identity And Calling

Eric Dickmann 6:54

lessons were you learning along the way that set you up for becoming a true entrepreneur?

David Ask 7:00

Yeah. You know, I, I, I do think early on I had a lot of misconceptions, well, around everything for that matter. I'll just put it that way. And, you know, I thought that, you know, music was, you know, you had to be discovered or you had to be, you know, the chosen one, or you had to be, you know, all this kind of stuff. And, um, truth of the matter is, I think there is some of that. I do, I do think that there's mo- there are moments if you're in the right place at the right time, you know, and somebody's like, "Man, I need a really great tenor. You know, you know, who can-- Hey, uh, you know, David, what are, what are you doing, you know, Saturday night?" Like, you know, that kind of thing. And I've, I've had moments like that, right? Where I just happen to be standing there and someone says, you know, "Can you sing backup for, you know, Wynonna on, you know, on Thursday night?" You know, that kind of thing.

Eric Dickmann 7:46

That's kind of the Josh Groban story, right?

David Ask 7:49

Well, totally. And at the same time, like anything, you gotta just set out, you know, kinda aim at something and start working to build it, right? What's the, what's the bedrock? What's the scaffolding? You know, who do you need on the team? You know, there's best practices, of course. Um, and of course, if you, you know, create any product that has value in the marketplace, you know, if people know about it, right, they'll buy it. You know, so there's, there's not only the creation of something, but the, you know, the marketing end of it, which, you know, you live in. And I, um, so I think that simultaneously for me, the music thing was such a personal, uh, you know, such something s- really, you know, kinda tied to who I am. I, I mean, when I-- I'm not, I'm not just an entertainer. I don't mind going, you know, standing up and, you know, singing some songs and giving some, giving people some goosebumps. But I remember early in life really, you know, thinking that music was more of a weapon and, and you know, one of the reasons I'm, I'm here with you, like I, I think that there's so much more going on, you know, in life. Uh, there's a larger story at play, and when people, you know, realize that and, and anchor to those things, um, you know, they're able to live a much more meaningful and joyful and fulfilling life. And I think that music is, is kind of a can opener to someone's soul.

Eric Dickmann 9:10

Hmm.

David Ask 9:11

and I remember even early on in life, I would sing somewhere or sing even the national anthem or something, and I, and people would make comments to me like, "David, I, you know, I just, I'm so blown away by what just happened there. Like, thank you for that. Like, it awakened something in me or reminded me of something." And, and, um, so I realized that, you know what? God just gave me something, right? It's a gift, right? I didn't make me. So He just said, "Hey, you get to do this." And, and I get to operate in that capacity. And, and at the same time, you know, the entrepreneurial thing was, um... Yeah, the misconception, I guess, around that was, you know, that some people have the Midas touch or, you know, everything they touch turns to gold or, you know, things like that. And truth of the matter is, is I, I do think that there are some people that might have, you know, some more giftings. They might be mo- a bit more charismatic or, you know, they might be a bit more driven, right? But it's amazing how-- I forget who said this back in the day, but it was, uh, the more prepared you are, the more lucky you are, right? And it's-- So, so I do think that this, this idea of, of effort, um, obviously a vision for a product that has value and, and just your, your, um... How about this? I mean, really the ability to just not give up. You know, it sounds so cliche, but truth of the matter is, is, you know, when people say, you know, never ever, ever give up, I think that's, that has more value than most things in life, period. I don't care if it's, I don't care if it's marriage, uh, you know, or parenting or, you know, running a business. Just don't give up. You're probably three feet from gold, you know that and other book, right? And those who persevere, those who have grit, those who have some steadfastness, and again, those things are-- you've gotta have a lot to develop those things, including support system. You know, those are the people that end up winning

Eric Dickmann 11:07

It's interesting too, because I've had a couple people on this podcast who are artistic, whether it's musically, they're writers, creative in some form. And oftentimes I've found that in my discussions with them, there's this part that they like to keep very personal because it is a gift, it is a creative outlet, and when you turn that into a business where you have to use that talent to then make money, that can somehow, I think in some people's minds, cheapen it or just take some of the passion out of it. Where I contrast that with entrepreneurs, they are so focused on getting that product right, getting that product out to market, getting people to see it, to use it, to experience it, that there's a drive there. And they're both passions, but one seems to be one that people protect often, and one seems to be something that people really push heavily on. Do you find that?

David Ask 12:07

Uh, 100%. And, and I do think that, you know what? Um, I, I, I think that is a, you know, a product, right? It-- Versus music. One of those is eternal. You know, one of those is transcendent. One of those crosses every single boundary in this world. You know, I manufacture a thermostat guard, right? And it's-- I'm grateful to have some success in that, but I tell you what, you know, when-- What is going to have more of an impact, right? When you stand up and, you know, give someone's goosebumps goosebumps or hand them a thermostat card, right? It's, it, it, it sounds kinda funny or, or kinda silly, but it's at the same time, you c- it's, you're not comparing apples to apples. And so I think that, that art and creativity and fashioning what, you know, what God has given us into something, you know, else that's beautiful and powerful and, and moving, I mean, those, that's, that's the kinda stuff you, you know, you die for, right? It's-- So I think that we-- To put those in a much higher category, you know, art as it were, is, is so important to, just to recognize.

Turning Grit Into A Business

Eric Dickmann 13:15

Absolutely, I agree with that.

The Thermostat Guard Idea Appears

Eric Dickmann 13:17

Let's, jump ahead a little bit to this entrepreneurial journey. So a thermostat guard, not necessarily the first thing that everybody would think about when they said, "I wanna design a product." I know there are challenges with designing a physical product. You've gotta, design it, you've gotta get it manufactured, get some store to sell it, right? This sounds like this was all new to you. How did you go through the process of figuring this all out, and where did the idea come from to begin with?

David Ask 13:43

Yeah. So I was actually working for Verizon Wireless, um, doing facilities management for many years, and it was, excuse me, just a fantastic, you know, career. I mean, it was a lo- a long time there. And it was a, a bit flexible in schedule. I, I worked from home mainly, but I covered five states and, you know, I don't know, what, close to 100 stores, you know, just to make sure the f- the facilities were looking great and all the maintenance and security and decommissioning old stores and opening new stores and various things. And, and it afforded me, you know, a, a bit of margin. And I-- So one day my brother-in-law, uh, called me and he said, "Hey, David, where do I get a thermostat guard with a combination lock?" He said, "I..." You know, he was working for banks down in South Florida that owned foreclosed properties. And of course, you know, they'd get the properties spit-shined and up, you know, up for sale, and the real estate agents would go in there and turn the temperature down to 62 degrees in July. And of course, the bank started getting, you know, these big energy bills, so they started using thermostat guards. Well, there, you know, no one made a thermostat guard with a combination lock. And so technically it was his idea. And so anyway, he and I kinda started developing this thing together and, um, you know, a few years into our entrepreneurial journey, which was going nowhere, um, you know, he started a construction company and just did really well with that. I'm still working at Verizon and, uh, one day I called him up and I just said, "Hey, you're obviously super busy doing what you're doing over there. Do you mind if I just buy you out and I'm gonna just take a, take another stab at this?" 'Cause we'd kinda given up really. And about, about a year later, I ended up getting into Home Depot. And, um, and then, you know, about four years ago... So this was eight years ago w- in Home Depot and, um, about four years ago in Lowe's, um, you know, with a new variation for Lowe's. And in fact, we just got into Grainger and HD Supply in a few locations, um, last year. And so, you know, it-- to your point too, I knew nothing about plastics injection molding and prototyping

Eric Dickmann 15:57

Right

David Ask 15:58

sourcing and supply chain management and, you know, I mean, you name it. I didn't know how to, I didn't know how to use QuickBooks. I mean, it was just absolutely everything about this was new. But, um, but by definition, right, that's an entrepreneur. I mean,

Eric Dickmann 16:12

sure it is, yeah

David Ask 16:13

you, you don't know what you're doing, so figure it out. And, um, so I learned a lot. Uh, I think I learned more about me, you know, than I did any technical, you know, ability. It was, um, you know, because most of the time learning something, you know, anybody can do it. But, you know, unlearning or overcoming your own internal, you know, fear and insecurity and imposter syndrome and stuff like that was probably the biggest hurdle

Eric Dickmann 16:41

How do you sell something like that to a chain like a Home Depot? I can see your mom-and-pop hardware store down the street where they're not so concerned about supply chains and inventories, but to sell something like that to a major retailer where they're gonna wanna know that you can deliver, right? I'm sure you don't, just submit a Contact Us form on the website and say, "I have got this product. Would you like to buy it?" How did, how'd you figure all that out?

Cracking Home Depot Through Relationships

David Ask 17:05

Yeah. I, I mean, I'll be honest, it's a, it's a really wild story. I'll, I'll try to make it really fast. So if you go on, you know, their website, you know, you can go to homedepot.com/vendors. Well, they want your financials. Like you said, they want to know can you do it? We don't really care. I mean, if you have a great product, great, but we need to know can you stock the shelves one time, and can you keep 20,000 units sitting around, and do you understand supply chain management and the retail space? Well, of course I knew none of that. And I didn't, and I had, I didn't have a dime. You know, I didn't have any money to, you know, stock the shelves. And so I, I ended up contacting a friend of my dad's who owned some hotels and restaurants and so on, and, you know, at the time was, you know, one of the more successful people I knew, and just to ask some advice. Well, he introduced me to a friend of his, a guy named Bob, and, you know, so here's the funny thing, right? You can't even submit a product unless you go through three months of, you know, vetting and, and then you might get a chance to do it, right? It's not an, it's not like you're, you're just in the door and they got people waiting to look at products all the time. They typically do something like that at a trade show or once a year,

Eric Dickmann 18:18

Yes

David Ask 18:19

in a while you can set up a meeting. But it's, I mean, it's, you know, you might as well try to get into the Oval Office for that matter. And but here's the interesting thing, right? So, uh, Bob called me one day and I told him about the product and he said, "Well, I'm actually going there for a meeting in a couple of weeks. I've got three products on the shelf right now." He said, "Let me, uh, show it to the buyer and we'll see what they say." So he walked it in the front door

Eric Dickmann 18:43

Oh, wow.

David Ask 18:43

again,

Eric Dickmann 18:44

What a break.

David Ask 18:45

who not how, right?

Eric Dickmann 18:46

Right

David Ask 18:47

And so he walked it in the front door and they, within five minutes they're like, "Wow, I wish we would've thought of this," you know, "Great idea." And, um, anyway, so just to, you know... And then it was funny, of course, they called and said... No, let me back up. The, the gentleman that said yes ended up, you know, getting promoted or something, moving to a different department. So I got on homedepot.com and they said, "We're gonna, you know, put you in 100 stores and just trial it out first." Well, of course the new guy was-- He didn't want anything to do with me. He's just trying to figure out life and learn his job. So then I had to wait another two years, and I'm literally, I'm sitting on the tarmac, I'm flying out to do a concert somewhere, and the phone rings and he says, you know, "Hey, this is so-and-so at the Home Depot." He said, "David, we love this product and we'd like to put it in 1,300 of our stores. Can you do this?" Right? So of course, you know Richard Branson with, you know, Virgin Mobile or whatever, Virgin Atlantic, always says, "Say yes and figure it out." So of course, I'm sitting in the plane. My wife is... Actually, we couldn't even sit next to each other. We didn't get seats next to each other. She's, like, two rows behind me. So, you know, I'm kinda coming out of my skin thinking, "I'm talking to the guy now that says 1,300 stores." And, and of course I'm just like, "Yeah, absolutely. No problem." You know? And I have no idea how to pull this off. And but we figured it out, and then I found a partner that I could license it to and, um, you know, here we are eight years later. It's incredible.

Eric Dickmann 20:15

That's really a great story, and it's, it's the old adage, right? It's not always what you know, it's who you know, and being able to leverage those contacts in your network. And, I'm repeatedly just, uh, surprised but grateful to hear the stories about how people's networks come through for them, right? That's the whole purpose of developing them over time is not only, you know, what you can do for them, but what they can, hopefully offer to you in the future, right? As you, work your way through life together and opportunities come about. I find it's so fulfilling when somebody p- reaches out to me, asks, asks me a question, and there's something that I can actually do to help them

David Ask 20:53

Oh, boy, isn't, isn't that wonderful? I mean, I, yeah, I, I wouldn't be anywhere in life without, you know, really fantastic people around me helping me, you know? I, I mean, personally and professionally. And yeah, to be able to s- let someone stand on my shoulders is just a joy. Yeah.

Eric Dickmann 21:11

Well, we're living in this great era of AI and these magical tools that do all this incredible, work on our behalf, but they can't open doors the way that a, a personal contact, can. So there's, there are some limitations to even what these tools can do for you. So you've had this success, now you've got this product out there, you're in these big box stores. Did you say, "Verizon, see you later. Now I'm gonna become a full-time entrepreneur"?

Leaving Verizon With A Runway

David Ask 21:38

Uh, yeah, it was, you know, it was interesting that I was, I was just making enough to kind of pay the bills with my, my side hustle really. You know, 'cause after you... I mean, I'm selling a $20 chunk of plastic, right? So there's not much meat on the bone. It's all volume and, and so on. And, and again, people need to know that it e- exists, so there's marketing dollars, all kinds of stuff. And so I remember, um, you know, thinking, "Well, I, I, uh," you know, once they hit the shelf, you don't know what the run rate's gonna be. I mean, it's just kinda, who knows? And so I'm super grateful, you know, it was, it was fine, and at the same time, not quite enough to live on. And then it was funny, one day Verizon was doing some layoffs, uh, and they actually were-- I mean, it was kind of voluntary layoffs. So they sent an email to certain, you know, gr- bands of people inside the company and just said, "Hey, if, if you want to walk away right now, you know, here's what your severance would look like." And, um, so, you know, I'd been there quite a few years and I'm like, "Wow, you know, this is probably nine months' worth of salary." And I, so I decided to just take it and walk away. And, um, so, you know, that's been, God, nine, seven, s- eight years now? I think it's been eight years and, um, seven years. Anyway, but yeah, I, I'm, I'm super thankful that I was able to launch and, and make it work, you know? It was, um... Yeah, so now of course, you know, once you get a win, right, you're like, "Well, what else is possible?" And, you know, you start swinging for the fence and, um, yeah, just getting after it, so.

Eric Dickmann 23:12

I love that story because, the show is titled Beyond Expertise, and really the idea behind it is that people often have a second, sometimes third, fourth chapter, right, in their life as they look to take what they've learned, the knowledge that they've accumulated, that expertise, and say, "Now what can I do with it?" And many times it's leaving a corporate structure and going off on your own. Maybe it's pursuing some kind of a passion, you know, writing, singing, painting, whatever it may be, some kind of an artistic endeavor. But it's really for, I think a lot of people, it's how they take some of the things that they've learned throughout their previous corporate world life and then apply it to some sort of a new business. But the mistake that a lot of people make, if you wanna call it a mistake, is that they don't do what you did. They don't start a side hustle.

David Ask 24:00

Yeah

Eric Dickmann 24:01

there's this change, and suddenly they find themselves out of the corporate world and thinking, "Now what? What next?" And, you went through, years as you, uh, tell the story before you found the success, with your product. And for people who just stop the corporate job cold turkey and then say, "What's next?" Sometimes that's a very uncomfortable period. So now you've got this experience. You've gone down the entrepreneurial path. You know some of the highs and lows. You've kind of figured out how to run a business, and now you've got the itch to maybe try something new. What's that something new?

David Ask 24:39

Yeah.

Intent Data And AI For Growth

David Ask 24:40

Yeah. So it, it was about a year ago, I, uh, I started working with a data company that, um, was doing, you know, lead generation for a bunch of different industries and so on. And, um, and anyway, we ended up, um, uh, partnering together and so it's, it's kind of fascinating. It's a company called Strategy Simple, and, you know, they, they've built out a, I guess a, a, amazing tech stack, but kind of the main, um, offering there is, is intent-based data, meaning, you know, we, we scrub about 160 million, you know, websites a day to find intent signals, right? People searching for things. And of course, it's, it's one of those things where if, you know, if somebody, you know, hits a website, we don't necessarily care. But if you're searching for, um, you know, electrical services or something, and you go to two or three different sites, well, now you're showing more intention, you know. And it's not-- it's-- you really can't call them a lead, but at least it's a warmer prospect, right? So it's amazing how, you know, once you have a few bits of information and everybody leaves a trail, you know, whether it's an IP address or cookie or whatever else, you know, wherever they go and, um, you know, we can, you know, retarget those folks. And it's, it's been fascinating to, you know, to see what's happening. In fact, my son, you know, here in Nashville, graduated college about a year ago, excuse me, and he started a, a moving, hauling, junk removal business. and yeah, it's, it's justaskjunk.com. And of course, we're having some fun with my last name, you know, Ask, A-S-K. And but it's fascinating to see, you know, we can find people that are searching for moving and, you know, hauling and junk removal in our area and, and retarget them with some ads or, you know, a, a postcard or something like that. And so it's been great to see how it's been, you know, benefiting Parker's business. And in fact, we spun up another company now called Rapid Removal IQ for junk removal and moving companies and so on because we're, um, it's just working. And of course, these guys are, you know, most service businesses, right? They didn't get into the business to run a business. They got into it because they were good at their trade, and so we're able to, you know, help them target people that are actively searching and, and then handle a few other things. We've got some AI agents to help with, you know, so calls don't get missed and, you know, requesting Google reviews and nurture sequences and things like that. So that's kind of the next chapter, you know, as I'm, as I'm walking these next, you know, steps at 52 years old. And, um, yeah, it's been great. I got an amazing team around me, and I, uh, I'm just super thankful for, yeah, some options.

Eric Dickmann 27:19

Oh, that's really exciting. It sounds like there's real momentum around this second chapter for you. And I know that you're an author as well, right? Don't you have a book coming out? And you talked, to me, uh, before we started about your guest appearances on podcasts, so you've obviously fully embraced the, uh, the podcast community. What are you doing with those other creative endeavors?

Fatherhood And The Guardians Of Grit

David Ask 27:42

Yeah, so I'm, I, I wrote a book, in fact, we're, we're gonna be pitching it here soon to our first publisher, um, called "The Guardians of Grit." And it's, it's really a book for, uh, for fathers and sons, and I'm launching-- I did kind of a soft launch with The Ask Experience, so my last name is Ask. But, you know, it's really, kind of the mission is, is, uh, let me... I'll say it this way. I asked a, a dear friend of mine, Dr. Andy Garrett, who's a clinical psychologist, I said, "What's the number one job of a father?" And his answer was not something I expected. He said, "Oh, it's just to remove as much uncertainty as possible."

Eric Dickmann 28:16

Hmm

David Ask 28:17

And I thought, "Tell me more about that." Well, you know, I'll get a bit personal here though, but what, what do children need most of all in this life, right? You know, from their dad. And, and, and you know, Dad loves me, right? What Dad looks at me, Dad sees me, and he loves what he sees, right? Absolute removal of uncertainty there. There's no question marks. And, and, um, I'm safe, right? Dad, Dad makes me safe in this life, right? Physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever, right? And so when you start to, uh, you know, I guess remove the question marks, right? I mean, it's amazing, you know, the, the bedrock that a young person starts to stand upon, right? They build their life on certainty and not on uncertainty. You know, they don't, you know, we don't have to walk into a day or a life or whatever and make it up, right? We, uh, you know, God was kind enough to write it down for us, and the science behind every single bit of it, i.e. my friend Dr. Andy, you know, validates absolutely everything with regards to this idea that my love for you, you know, I've got two kids, Parker and Kate, I mean, they're 19 and 21, you know, is, is relentless, right? It is absolutely unconditional. You can do nothing, you know, to remove the posture of my heart towards you.

Eric Dickmann 29:44

Hmm.

David Ask 29:44

And, and so I, I'm, I, I, I... The book is, uh, I really, I kinda created these rooms in, in a home to talk about those different chambers of life and chambers in our heart, you know, mind, and, uh, you know, spirit and so on. And, um, to, to paint a picture that, you know, "Hey, Dad, what does it look like for you to remove as much uncertainty in your own life?" Because you cannot give away something you don't have. So most dads, right, they're just licking their fingers, sticking it up in the air, and winging it. And, you know, they're a product of their upbringing. They're a product of their own choices and conditioning, right? And, um, I'll, I'll kinda end it with this. So I, I was standing in front of a, a organization last year down in Jamaica. They were having... It's a big trade organization. And I asked the room, I said, "Hey, does anybody know where we get the word authenticity from?" I mean, this is master's, doctorate level, 26 executives in a room, and they're all staring at the floor

Eric Dickmann 30:42

Hmm

David Ask 30:42

And I said, I said, "Well, I'm not-- I, I don't wanna get, you know, too religious here. I'm not gonna tell you what you should believe about certain things." But I, I said, "I'm gonna pop a few bubbles, um, so that we can stand on the same ground." So I said, "Brace yourself." You know, the word authenticity comes from the word author. So you did not make you, right? So for instance, the popular one, right? I didn't choose the scu- the color of my skin. Well, of course not, right? Well, you don't choose, you know, your eye color. You don't choose your fingerprint, your DNA, your retina. You don't choose into what family you're born and what time in history you're born. But here's something that's really fascinating is, is you, you don't even choose your own personality. So children, right, ages zero to, I don't know, six or seven, you know, they're not like... I, I often say this, they're not like us sophisticates, you know, thinking, thinking about identity and authenticity and all the stuff, right? Kids are just being authentic and being natural and normal and all that kind of

Eric Dickmann 31:44

That's right

David Ask 31:45

until life punches you in the face, and then you start to play a role, right? Meaning I, I get some applause if I do certain things or I get teased or, teased or punched or whatever, right, if I do certain things. And but here's the funny thing. When teenagers hit that, that awkward phase that psychologists call self-actualization, that can get pretty rocky, and they don't even really know what's going on, and parents don't even really know what's going on. They're just like, "Hey, my kid's acting like a jerk, and I did the same thing, so I guess we'll get through this." Well, guess what? Th-that is absolutely a pivotal, uh, needed, ordained, if you wanna use that word, time in life where you are, you are Deciding, uh, I guess on some level, who am I? Where do I start and end, and where does this person start and end? And you start carving out, you know, your own sense of yourself. And so what, what's fascinating is, is if you, if you submit to a few things, right? Authenticity comes from the word author. If you start to identify, you know the word identity, right? Start writing down all of the things that you, the hierarchy of things that rise to the top for you with regards to what do you believe is right and wrong, right? What, what do you b- what are your values? Like, what is the decision-making matrix that you're, you're, you know, using in life to make decisions to build your life upon? What gives you goosebumps, right? What is, what type of a dent in the universe do you wanna have? What type of impact? What k- type of virtue do you wanna have? And your strengths and how you want to apply those things. Well, you get a really clear understanding of what the author wrote in you. And guess what? If you start to employ those things and act accordingly with who you are and what feels normal and natural, you live with a sense of authority, right? Author, authenticity, authority. What's... How do you know... And, and Dr. Andy said one time where he was up on stage talking to a big group of people, and he said, "Guess what? There are clues here." How do you know you're living in alignment with who God made you to be? Well, he always starts out with the opposite of that. Well, how do you know you're not doing it?

Eric Dickmann 33:49

Mm, right

David Ask 33:50

massive clues there, right? You're gonna feel stuck. You're gonna feel h- probably really anxious. You're gonna avoid certain p- people and places because you feel insecurity and imposter syndrome. And if that goes on too long, you're going to feel horribly depressed.

Eric Dickmann 34:06

Yeah,

David Ask 34:07

How do you know you're living in alignment with the, you know, with the wonderful person God made you to be? You're gonna feel natural and normal and authentic and resilient and purpose-driven and, you know, all, all those, that, those good things. So the book, the book is largely a bit clinical, right? 'Cause I just wanna make sure everybody's kind of, you know, singing from the sh- same sheet of music. And, and at the same time, I'm not gonna tell somebody what they need to think or believe. That is for you to discover and identify. And, and again, what would it look like for a father to look at their son and to say, "I think you're made of awesome. I think you're made of something so spectacular. And guess what? As long as you're breathing air and I'm breathing air, I'm gonna get the shovel out and start digging because, uh, we're gonna mine for gold in you. You're made in the image of the one who made hurricanes and lightning and tigers and tornadoes, and we're not gonna find the end of that, ever. And whatever you're into, I'm into." Can you imagine if every father did that?

Eric Dickmann 35:07

Yeah

David Ask 35:08

I mean, it's, uh, even as I say it, I get goosebumps. And I'm like, so, so my mission is absolutely crystal clear with regards to, you know, identifying the author in everybody and calling it out and riding the sunbeam to the sun. And, um, so I'm really excited about, you know, just helping dads do that.

Eric Dickmann 35:28

I love that. I really do, because I think, you know, when I started this podcast, that was one of the defining characteristics that I really wanted to try to get out of people. It's, is this second chapter in your life more authentic to who you really are? And I think a lot of people, the reason that they even think about doing something beyond what they were doing before is because they felt that misalignment. They felt that they weren't really being authentic to themselves. And as you said, the signs are there, but it doesn't mean people really know what that authentic side is. They know what's not right, but they are not quite sure what is. So I, I think what you're doing there is great. Love the fact that you're doing it around, you know, father-son relationships. I look forward to hearing when that book is out.

Where To Find David And Close]

Eric Dickmann 36:14

David, as we kind of wrap up today, let the folks know where they can find out more about you, where they can keep an eye out for that book, and, uh, and anything else you wanna share. We'll have it linked up in the show notes

David Ask 36:25

Yeah. Well, thank you. And by the way, of course, I'm, I'm being a little funny here, but, I'll speak to the ladies here. How about this? If you wanna keep your husband from touching the thermostat, you can go to Home Depot or Lowe's and buy the StatGuard Plus. Um,

Eric Dickmann 36:38

Perfect.

David Ask 36:39

but, but re- but really, um, yeah, if you go to theaskexperience.com, you can find me there and all the various things that I'm into. But, um, yeah, again, it's The Ask, not The Osk, and I, 'cause I w- I just wanna help people remove question marks

Eric Dickmann 36:54

I love that. That's a great mission. And, uh, what an interesting story you've got, many different facets of your life I love the momentum that you're building here, in the 50-plus years. David, thank you so much for taking the time to be on the podcast. I've really enjoyed the conversation today.

David Ask 37:10

Yeah, my pleasure

Eric Dickmann 37:11

Thanks for listening to Beyond Expertise. You can find show notes, resources, and links mentioned during this episode at podcast.ericdickman.com. If this conversation resonated with you, I hope you'll join me again next time as we continue exploring what it means to reinvent ourselves beyond our careers, titles, and expertise.